Lindsay Lohan Arrested

FROM THE AP WIRE: 07.24.07; 613 AM

In an attempt to revitalize her waning career with a film about the life of a hit singer's battle with addiction, LAPD mistakenly arrested Lindsay Lohan early Tuesday morning as she rehearsed for her role as Amy Winehouse in the female drunk-sician's biopic "It's Not an Act (Or is it?)" (Screenplay by Paul Haggis)

Lohan insisted that she was merely practicing her "method" by "getting blasted and assaulting her second assistant, just like The Winehouse." When told that this incident has never occurred in Amy Winehouse's life, Lohan insisted she was from the near, pre-apocalyptic future, before passing out on the night officer's desk.

Amy Winehouse, matron saint of holding-your-liquor-and-looking-good-doing-it, had no comment, but was sporting a particularly devilish grin before she disappeared cackling in a sulfuric cloud of Satan's breath.