Dear Lindsay Lohan,
I'm a big fan of yours! My name is Amanda and I'm also an actress. I used to be on basic cable, but recently crossed into mainstream feature films. I got to be in Hairspray; I love musicals!
Anyhoo, I just wanted to write a note thanking you for being such a colossal drunken, anorexic fuck-up, because as you become more and more uninsurable, which might as well be a death sentence in this industry, my agent gets more and more calls. You're such a selfless guardian angel, giving all of yourself so that me(screechy, wacky humanity) can live on. It's quite beautiful Lindsay.
I hope you're doing well in Utah. This next pratfall and adorable facial expression is for you!
Yours,
Amanda Bynes
PS- Go see my new movie, Sydney White! I have no idea what it's about, but I'm hilarious in it!
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