Here is the Aimee Mann video I worked on a month ago with Michael Blieden; i did it all the weekend of Jenny and Derek's wedding. Pretty fun. I really like the song and it gets in your head right away, so don't be surprised if you find yourself humming it the rest of the day.
Click here: FREEWAY BY AIMEE MANN
It's on Michael's personal site at wonderfully high resolution, so it's going to load slowly and if it jumps around, feel free to clicky over to Aimee's site to see it- http://www.aimeemann.com/media.php?vid=4
Also, Super High Me is out on DVD and available where fine DVDs can be purchased or rented. Personally, I haven't been able to find it at Best Buy (boo), but you are encouraged to queue it up on Netflix, or buy it off Amazon. (Also, there is a VARIANT cover considered "conservative art," in case you are offended or nauseated by a man with forty joints crammed in his maw.)
Also also! Very exciting! Andy and Scott's new show, KITTEN VS. NEWBORN will be premiering ONE WEEK FROM TODAY on ADULTSWIM.COM. It was originally slated for another website, but Adult Swim picked it up and we're all but locked to premiere on July 8th on AdultSwim.com. Kitten Vs. Newborn is a political satire show about an intense presidential campaign race for America's votes, and their hearts. Episodes should be running once a week up until the election in November! That's like, almost 20 weeks of hilarious new episodes.
I think that's it. How are all you?
Monday, June 30, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
Crazy or Bluetooth: On the Beach
Crazy or Bluetooth is a game that is played when you least expect it. When some one is crazy, you can tell; when someone is having a conversation on a Bluetotoh enabled headset, you can tell. This game is for every other time.
I was running on the beach yesterday, much to my chagrin, and was panting like a dog in the 8AM 900-degree heat. Yikes.
A large man, with a significant belly and a ratty ponytail, wearing a bluetooth earpiece was approaching me on the opposite side of the running path. His sunglassed eyes seemed to track me while he said:
"AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! Donald Sutherland!"
So, Crazy or Bluetooth?
I was running on the beach yesterday, much to my chagrin, and was panting like a dog in the 8AM 900-degree heat. Yikes.
A large man, with a significant belly and a ratty ponytail, wearing a bluetooth earpiece was approaching me on the opposite side of the running path. His sunglassed eyes seemed to track me while he said:
"AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! Donald Sutherland!"
So, Crazy or Bluetooth?
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Some Letters I Wrote While in Slow-Internet Purgatory
Dear "It's a Grind" coffee house,
This frosty coffee drink and flamenco music IS NOT RELAXING IN ANY WAY.
Love,
Jeff
PS: Your name isn't that punny.
PPS: Go fuck yourself and your shitty internet.
Dear God of War II,
You are awesome. I wish I could play you forever and ever and we have fun and get milkshakes and then ride bikes together. Also, remember that time I screamed at you? I'm sorry, I was just overwhelmed with excitement and emotion. We cool?
Love,
Jeff
Dear The Internet,
Why are you such a harsh mistress? Why can't you provide me with the best blogs ALL the time? Why don't you work in the comfort of my own home where you I use you AND play God of War II.
Love,
Jeff
Dear Overwhelming Amount of Work I have to do,
I'm glad I'm busy, but seriously- some of us have God of War II to play and you aren't helping me and Kratos defeat the Sisters of Fate and change our destiny so we can kill Zeus, King of the Gods. But I guess you're cool. Wanna come over and play God of War II later?
Love,
Jeff
This frosty coffee drink and flamenco music IS NOT RELAXING IN ANY WAY.
Love,
Jeff
PS: Your name isn't that punny.
PPS: Go fuck yourself and your shitty internet.
Dear God of War II,
You are awesome. I wish I could play you forever and ever and we have fun and get milkshakes and then ride bikes together. Also, remember that time I screamed at you? I'm sorry, I was just overwhelmed with excitement and emotion. We cool?
Love,
Jeff
Dear The Internet,
Why are you such a harsh mistress? Why can't you provide me with the best blogs ALL the time? Why don't you work in the comfort of my own home where you I use you AND play God of War II.
Love,
Jeff
Dear Overwhelming Amount of Work I have to do,
I'm glad I'm busy, but seriously- some of us have God of War II to play and you aren't helping me and Kratos defeat the Sisters of Fate and change our destiny so we can kill Zeus, King of the Gods. But I guess you're cool. Wanna come over and play God of War II later?
Love,
Jeff
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
E-Mail to Amazon.com customer service department
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Why is there no Deadliest Catch video game?
Why is there no Deadliest Catch video game?
Or Man Vs. Wild video game? (or Survivorman, which is FAR superior to MvW.)
Why is there no Ax Men video game, or Ice Road Truckers video game?
Why is there no Shackleton! video game?
Why is there no Hamlet video game?
I would ask why there is no Metamorphosis video game, EXCEPT THERE IS. It's an old school PC game called Bad Mojo, where you are a dude turned into a cockroach and you have to travel around a dirty apartment and a dirty bar evading traps and predators, and at one point you get to ride a moth.
Why is there no Seven Samurai video game?
Why is there no Poseidon Adventure video game?
Why is there no Fantastic Voyage video game?
Why is there no Brief History of Time video game?
Why is there no Iliad video game?
Why is there no Lolita vid- actually, let's get to the other ones first.
Or Man Vs. Wild video game? (or Survivorman, which is FAR superior to MvW.)
Why is there no Ax Men video game, or Ice Road Truckers video game?
Why is there no Shackleton! video game?
Why is there no Hamlet video game?
I would ask why there is no Metamorphosis video game, EXCEPT THERE IS. It's an old school PC game called Bad Mojo, where you are a dude turned into a cockroach and you have to travel around a dirty apartment and a dirty bar evading traps and predators, and at one point you get to ride a moth.
Why is there no Seven Samurai video game?
Why is there no Poseidon Adventure video game?
Why is there no Fantastic Voyage video game?
Why is there no Brief History of Time video game?
Why is there no Iliad video game?
Why is there no Lolita vid- actually, let's get to the other ones first.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Saturday Story
A bit of a change from normal bloggy times, here is a short story I wrote last night.
PS. Why doesn't MySpace let you indent?
Monday in the Park
By Jeff Crocker
I might as well have been staring into the sun, that's how I felt I was spending my time. Instead, I was in the park playing chess with a ninety year old man that was lecturing me about the greatest generation and manners and cell phones and oh-my-god-just-please-make-a-move-so-this-game-will-end-before-you-do.
"You know what I mean, kid?"
I grunted and motioned a hand for him to make his move. Subtlety is a specialty of mine, as is patience, and when I start to run short of both, someone walks around with a shiner and crooked nose the next day no matter what your age.
"It's like people your age, not you of course-"
Of course.
"-just don't even pay attention to what is going on around them."
I am going to try and psychically move his rook now. Rook. Rook. Rook.
"When I was a child, we had plenty to do all day and didn't need video games and cell phones and Tama-gotchees!"
Rookrookrookrookrookrookrookrookrookrookrook.
The man moved his pawn one square forward and the glossy plastic non-denominational foot soldier appeared to politely ask to be taken off the playing field.
I understand your pain, sweet pawn. Unfortunately, like me, you will be made to suffer.
If I hated myself, I would sit here and see how long it took him to notice me not touching a single piece on the board. But I'm a completist- I will end what I begin whether I llike it or not. I'm pretty sure at one time and ex-girlfriend called that my greatest asset (which is why she broke up with me), and it clearly is my greatest weakness as well.
"Oh, is it my move?"
I held up a hand indicating a polite, "please hold," when I really wanted to indicate an impolite, "are you fucking kidding me?"
"It's like all that global warming nonsense they talk about in the papers all the time. I've been alive for ninety three years and the weather feels the same every year. Hot in the summer, cold in the winter, varying degrees of both in between."
Every chess board in the park was being used right now and I wondered if the other seats were smoldering with sulfur like mine was right now. I've been having epiphanies about god for every religion since this game started.
First there was no God. Then no Jesus or Muhammed. In the second hour I gave up on Buddha and the Halle Bop comet, and now I was even considering dropping Joe Smith, but didn't want to be too hasty.
"My brigade in the second great war was the meanest, toughest sons of bitches in the whole damn European theater, from D-Day to Berlin. You're goddamnright we were tough as nails."
Seriously? Am I on a reality show? You know how in high school they name all the seniors 'most likely to' something? I felt like I was just voted most likely to die and be stuck in purgatory on a beautiful day playing chess with someone who will never ever stop talking forever. In reality, next to my sad picture of me in a ill-fitting sports coat, under a list of extracurricular activities and sports I was in, it says, "Most likely to be an expatriate."
I wish I had been in the chess club.
PS. Why doesn't MySpace let you indent?
Monday in the Park
By Jeff Crocker
I might as well have been staring into the sun, that's how I felt I was spending my time. Instead, I was in the park playing chess with a ninety year old man that was lecturing me about the greatest generation and manners and cell phones and oh-my-god-just-please-make-a-move-so-this-game-will-end-before-you-do.
"You know what I mean, kid?"
I grunted and motioned a hand for him to make his move. Subtlety is a specialty of mine, as is patience, and when I start to run short of both, someone walks around with a shiner and crooked nose the next day no matter what your age.
"It's like people your age, not you of course-"
Of course.
"-just don't even pay attention to what is going on around them."
I am going to try and psychically move his rook now. Rook. Rook. Rook.
"When I was a child, we had plenty to do all day and didn't need video games and cell phones and Tama-gotchees!"
Rookrookrookrookrookrookrookrookrookrookrook.
The man moved his pawn one square forward and the glossy plastic non-denominational foot soldier appeared to politely ask to be taken off the playing field.
I understand your pain, sweet pawn. Unfortunately, like me, you will be made to suffer.
If I hated myself, I would sit here and see how long it took him to notice me not touching a single piece on the board. But I'm a completist- I will end what I begin whether I llike it or not. I'm pretty sure at one time and ex-girlfriend called that my greatest asset (which is why she broke up with me), and it clearly is my greatest weakness as well.
"Oh, is it my move?"
I held up a hand indicating a polite, "please hold," when I really wanted to indicate an impolite, "are you fucking kidding me?"
"It's like all that global warming nonsense they talk about in the papers all the time. I've been alive for ninety three years and the weather feels the same every year. Hot in the summer, cold in the winter, varying degrees of both in between."
Every chess board in the park was being used right now and I wondered if the other seats were smoldering with sulfur like mine was right now. I've been having epiphanies about god for every religion since this game started.
First there was no God. Then no Jesus or Muhammed. In the second hour I gave up on Buddha and the Halle Bop comet, and now I was even considering dropping Joe Smith, but didn't want to be too hasty.
"My brigade in the second great war was the meanest, toughest sons of bitches in the whole damn European theater, from D-Day to Berlin. You're goddamnright we were tough as nails."
Seriously? Am I on a reality show? You know how in high school they name all the seniors 'most likely to' something? I felt like I was just voted most likely to die and be stuck in purgatory on a beautiful day playing chess with someone who will never ever stop talking forever. In reality, next to my sad picture of me in a ill-fitting sports coat, under a list of extracurricular activities and sports I was in, it says, "Most likely to be an expatriate."
I wish I had been in the chess club.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)