University of the Apprentice

I'm totally a junkie for The Apprentice. Donald Trump's business world cred may be spotty, but his bat-shit crazy cred is as high as you can get. Through his reality-show-job-interview-competition, he teaches important business lessons, yet we end up learning important communication skills that are necessary for any successful endeavor, not just big business. And while I was unsure if Martha Stewart would be able to come close to the eccentricity of Donald Trump's version, she has definitely won me over with her deliberate style and unmerciful demeanor. But this past week I came to a realization: The Apprentice is Sesame Street for adults. At the end of every episode you learn a lesson or moral or skills or how to use the letter 'E'. Granted, nine times out of ten the lesson is "don't be an a-hole," but there are plenty of important morals that are presented each week for us to learn. Generally we learn about proper interpersonal communication, being nice to people, sharing, managing money, how to interact with different age groups, etc. However, A lot of times, the lessons are learned not through the task that Donald Trump gives each team, but through the team dynamic. The teams are generally divided in a way that complements the competitive nature of the show. Last season, it was street smarts(high school degree) versus book smarts(college and grad school degrees), and this season it's guys versus girls. Each week, teams go head to head and compete, the loser has to talk to Donald Trump, who promptly fires the whiniest, bitchiest, saddest train wreck of a contestant. But not before they learn that they need to contribute more to the team. Or that they need to share their thoughts in a more thoughtful manner. Whether we, the vieing audience likes it or not, we subconsciously learn an important lesson of what we would NEVER do in any business sense. But it generally doesn't end with business. This also applies to the Amazing Race- For instance, last week, a team of all strong able-bodied men was bested by a single mother and her three teenage children. The men got cocky and angry and made it a point to beat the single mom team. In the end, they let their anger and frustration get in the way the goal of the game: don't come in last place. This lesson is taught nearly ever season of almost every reality based competition show, because there will always be a team that is too competitive for their own good and will blow the competition focusing on trying to beat a single team. The Apprentice Martha Stewart is awesome because, while Donald Trump is totally nuts(read: awesome), Martha Stewart is fucking dead serious all the time. Any time a contestant tries to take her on, she shoots them down with something that resembles: I've been to jail, have you? Case in point, two weeks ago, Shaun(female) told Martha's right hand business guy that they would win the task or he could personally fire her. They don't show that stuff for a reason, and sure enough, Shaun got the pink, lacy, steel-toed boot from Martha Stewart. But luckily for us, she didn't go without a totally inane defense. In response to questioning about her totally misplaced confidence, she said, "I work in TV where we say, 'fake it, 'til you make it!'" And Martha shoots back with, "I've been on TV for ten years and I've never heard that." Ouch. Good for Martha Stewart. There's nothing like coming back from prison and reinventing yourself as a ruthless, stone-cold bee-atch! Ultimately, the lesson we will all learn from the Donald Trumps, Martha Stewarts, Big Brothers, Survivors, Fifth Wheels, Amazing Racers, and everyone else who will be on a reality show at some point in their lives is: Don't be an A-hole.