Open Letter to American Express: Blue

Dear American Express: Blue, I just received your monthly correspondance, as usual, and I wanted to write back to thank you for supporting 100f my drinking habit this year. Every pint of beer, every dry martini, and every glass of wine has been enjoyed on your line of credit. You must understand that this year, in ONLY the two months of this year, I have ingested more alcoholic beverages than any other entire year prior. I know that this trend will not continue throughout the entirety of 2006, which is why I feel you should be thanked at this important occasion. Not only does your letter to me (it's cute how you refer to it as a "Statement"), represent my significant monetary expenditure on alcoholic beverages, but it serves as a wonderful trip down memory lane to some of those memories that may have been lost in the raging rapids of vermouth and hefeweizen. I glance at the laserjet font on your pale blue paper and see so many friendly faces, I can't help but smile as I reach for my checkbook. I can also assure you that you will soon be hearing from many of my friends as well, because you, AmEx Blue, are responsible for many drinks for many friends: Bryan and Katie, Adam and Amanda, my girlfriend's champagne splits, Jeremy's birthday shots, Matt's Guinesses, and I'm sure many more that I've forgotten about. Besides, you've also got Wade and Lica at the Prospector whose generosity was not forgotten by the reciept for your bar tab. Your economical and financial prowess has been a great help to me and my friends, American Express: Blue. This next drink is on you as I drink TO you. I wish you well and I'm sure I will see you soon, whether it's at the Prospector, the Edendale Grill, La Poubelle, Cinespace, or a new piece of barwood as yet undiscovered by your clear, embossed plastic majesty. With Regards, Jeffrey A. Crocker PS- Please find enclosed my check for $468.03 as requested by your "Delinquent Accounts" representative. Here's to you guys! Oh yeah! Don't worry about that President's Day weekend when I blacked out and threw up blood- I'll put the medical bill on my Discover card.