What..s it going to take, America, to keep these scrappy hipsters at the forefront of the popular music debate? Weezer is an important aspect of our music culture, because they went from really good to retardedly bad in the time it takes to grow a Steven Seagal ponytail.
You know, that song "Hash Pipe" wasn't too bad. What about that video with the muppets that was so sweet and quaintly nostalgic, even though that "Happy Days" parody by Spike Jones was a lot better(meaning sweeter and more quaintly nostalgic).
But Weezer's pathetic decline deserves our attention MUCH more than we are giving them. Rivers Cuomo NEEDS us to talk about his shortcomings as a born again song writer. Otherwise he wouldn't have posted his Harvard thesis on his MySpace blog.
Why are you listening to the Killers? Who cares about your faggy emo whiney distorted sheep music? Who..s soul are you killing when you drop a dime on Evanessence?
I'll tell you whose soul you are killing- Nerd rockers everywhere that are being forced to NOT follow in Weezer's footsteps and are putting on eyeliner and writing about slutty girls rather than wearing sweaters and being emotionally distant unavailable lesbians you can..t forget about.
It's time to step up to the plate and pledge yourself to the Anti-Non-Weezer Faction. We..ll have Pinkerton listening parties and talk about how great Pinkerton is as a ..listen all the way through.. album, while we spurn such trite singles as ..Beverly Hills,.. laughable attempts at ..edge.. like ..We Are All On Drugs,.. and the bland safety dance of ..Island in the Sun...
Rise up, people and fight back against the tyranny of the real menace to America .. Anti-Weezer sentiments. Bring back the dejected, bespecaled, shaggy haired, nerd-charmers, that we fell in love with during the salad days of the 90s.
You may begin the resurgence of Weezer propaganda below where, following the conclusion of this blog, we will have a pointed discussion in the "comments" section.
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