While I quite possibly may be one of the greatest minds in the last three decades, alongside praised geniuses like, Walter Gilbert and Frederick Sanger, Russel A. Hulse, and Kurt Cobain; even though my powerful mind encapsulates the struggles of the greater commonwealth and everyday man, a net of intelligentsia in one consciousness with a five o clock shadow; but if there is one thing that hinders me from unraveling the very threads holding reality together and discovering the singular unifying theory to all the world, it's that I can't argue worth a god damn.
Even I'm never convinced by myself! My thoughts move faster than light, synapses firing in split-split seconds, calculating logic before logic processes it's own existence, and yet, I can't convince my producer that the title of their movie is somewhat awkward and confusing and possibly going to turn off potential audience members. I have six quadrillion items to prove this is the case, but can't articulate a single one into a comprehensive sentence.
What normally happens is a derivative of the following:
Step 1.) An opposing viewpoint to my own is presented; I conceive that this idea is a poor one and formulate the answer in a trillisecond.
Step 2.) I stutter.
Step 3.) Opposing viewpoint wins as I am left repeating something along the lines of, "seriously, it's a bad idea." While the opposing viewpoint presenter exclaims (in smug victory), "But you haven't convinced me!"
That's just it, I'm not a convincer. I'm more of a "you're-about-to-make-a-serious-mistake-that-I-can-foresee-and-you-should-listen-to-me-based-solely-on-me-being-genius-incarnate." Yet somehow that never really convinces anyone.
The lazy a-hole in my wants to blame the people I argue with are just a bunch of tight-assed, close-minded toolio's, crusing down the road to south obtuse central, in their brand new Cadillac Intolerance.
If there was a class I could take, I would love to become better at arguing, but I'm not sure I have the patience for four or sixs weeks of homework about debating when, in a perfect, Matrix-like world, I could just download the information to my brain. Although I guess if that were the case, we would be able to zap our ironclad opinions into each others brains and I wouldn't be writing this blog.
Also, I wouldn't be writing this blog- I would be thinking it into existence.
Also, I would be a slave to a robot society.
Jesus, this blog sucks.
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