Good Question

I've been experimenting with all sorts of quasi-health foods lately. I don't know why. The other day I bought Morningstar Farms veggie sausage breakfast patties and they were delicious. Surprisingly delicious. Then I went to the market and decided to try Morningstar Buffalo Wings, I know, which was a risk. They are completely fake chicken stuff but were really quite delicious.

So I was at Whole Foods yesterday and meandering down the cereal/baked goods aisle, I saw some sort of more-healthy-than-not Chocolate Chip cookie mix, and I thought, sure- why not?

I'll tell you why not. These were the Most. Disgusting. Things. I have ever eaten in the history of ingestion. Now I know many of you are sitting there smirking those knowing crooked smiles saying to yourself (or others), "DUH! Jeff, I could have told you that wheat-flour chocolate chip cookies would be horrible! No brainer!"

I know. I should have known better, but I had such high hopes that the world of healthy junk food had progessed in the last seven years. What was wrong with these choclate chip atrocities? How about everything! The texture: mealy. The taste: oily. The healthy factor: pretty high as I wanted to throw up the last fourteen meals I had eaten after taking a bit of these culinary war crimes.

So, the moral of the story, besides reassuring me that my gag reflex is still active, is to stick with cookies made only from butter, sugar, and chocolate.

Also, Bonus Top Ten List!

Top Ten Movies NOT to Watch if You Have Ingested Food Within the Last 72 Hours

10. David Cronenberg's The Fly
9. David Cronenberg's The Fly
8. David Cronenberg's The Fly
7. David Cronenberg's The Fly
6. David Cronenberg's The Fly
5. David Cronenberg's The Fly
4. David Cronenberg's The Fly
3. David Cronenberg's Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights
2. David Cronenberg's The Fly
1. David Cronenberg's The Fly