Where's My 'Ism?

I have no 'ism. It's something that I am somewhat shy about admitting, as it seems like everyone I know has an 'ism to apply to themselves. I have no idealism, extremism, or religious fanatacism; meaning no Catholicism, Zionism, Buddhism or Calvinism.

I don't suffer from alcoholism, absenteeism, or altruism; though I have been told I have altruistic properties. (Thanks, Mom.)

My character lacks witticism, narcissism, cronyism, and cynicism.

My pseudo-journalism emits no realism or social criticism and lacks symbolism and professionalism.

I could take up vandalism but my pessimism would stop myself from driving the tourism down where I live.

My art tastes are undeveloped and therefore can't tell you the difference between Post-modernism, surrealism, or cubism; my science skills are just as pathetic as I dont understand magnetism, activism, or skepticism.

I don't understand feminism, fetishism, or feudalism.

I have no patriotism and I dont align myself with terrorism.

I have never had botulism, hypnotism, or a baptism.

No cannaibalism, capitalism, or sado-masochism;
No Marxism, Buddhism, or those hilarious "Bushisms."

All 'isms escape my persona. I feel empty and hollow like I'm missing a significant part of my life. My character. The very coincidental definition of who I am as a person and how I can better describe myself to people Ive never met over the internet. Isn't there an 'ism that I can claim? Something that I can attach myself to, tie around my arm, wave in the air or celebrate once a year?

Should I be looking in the 'asms? I think I have a lot of 'asms...