The Addiction Addict

This documentary i'm working on isn't necessarily about addiction per se, but it's definitely one of the most prevalent undertones running through our minds. As an act of solidarity, the entire crew decided to join our subject for thirty days of sobriety en totale. No drugs, no alcohol, and nothing else that lowers inhibitions and/or alters the mind.

I made it a staggering 14 days of sobriety before I realized I was going to a Journey concert and there was no way I could get through it without coming into contact with beer or pot. I was one of the last on the crew to fall off the wagon, although a few would say they are still on when they technically are not.

What was confusing to me was that I'm not an addict in the classic sense of the word- I don't need alsohol or marijuana to function, to get my day started, to deal with my life, it doesn't effect my life beyond the bar, etc. And in justifying myself that way, I felt like I didn't need to worry about not going the full thirty days.

But then I started to worry- Does THAT mean I am an addict? Making an excuse for my usage and understating my supposed addiction? I probably drink once a week, and am in a bar about three times a month. My marijuana usage is practically non-existant. So i didn't think that I needed to quit for thirty days because it's not something that I every really do on a regular basis to begin with, except I am worried that because I am excusing my behavior in that way, it means i AM addicted.

I know that I am addicted to ONE thing: Coffee. Again, I don't NEED it to start my day, but coffee is the one thing I look forward to in the morning and in the evening. Ever since coming back to work here, I've been drinking a LOT more coffee; way more at work, and none at home.

Make no mistake, my body is addicted to coffee, caffeinated or decaffeinated, as I can prove because it has been 30 hours since my last cup and I have a splitting headache. The headache started around the time I would be at work having coffee and starting my day. I took two Advil and am chewing some gum to make this pain in my head disappear. It's that horrible addict head pain, right behind your eyes, up a little, making you a little disoriented and uncomfortable but giving you no good reason to go home to bed. Blech.

I'm off coffee for awhile because I don't want my body to depend on it in any way. no more alcohol either, just because I want to prove that I can stay sober for another two weeks. Instead, I've decided to become addicted to cigarettes! I mean, why not? It;ll only be until I start drinking coffee and alcohol again and it's clear that my body is addicted to addiction, whether it's coffee, alcohol, cigarettes, Guitar Hero, or blogging- I need something to get my day started and suppress my appetite all the while changing my metabolism and increasing my significant levels of nausea and self-deprecation.

So what do you think? Am I Kool? Or a Marlboro Man?

Crocker the Proctor

At the last minute, we decided to give the subject of our documentary the SAT so we could compare the scores now and when he is 'medicated.'

I was assigned to proctor the test, because....i'm the most interested in this aspect of our film? i don't know.

Now I'm sitting here with a camera, taping our subject taking the SAT. Enthralling footage I'm sure. Either way, I'm still interested in the way this part of the experiment turns out. Unfortunately, we weren't able to prep him in any way, so the scores aren't really going to reflect sobriety vs. stoned-iety. He hasn't seen the test in almost 30 years, the odds of there being a significant score are small because he doesn't know what's coming. Ryan Meyer, an SAT tutor/writer for Ivy West(Motto: "Excellence Via Velvet Mediocrity" or "Have Fun at State College!"), explained that not being familiar with the test is one of the more challenging aspects.

It also made me realize that there is an entire documentary for just the SAT. Think about it. It would be like Jaws. You want them to succeed in destorying the shark, but there is a part of you that rejoices whenever Jaws savagely devours a small child or fisherman.

OK, bad analogy(good movie). What I always forget about is that your entire junior year of high school, at least mostly, is used to prepare you for the SAT. Or is it sophomore year? Who cares- they've eliminated analogies and added an essay to the SAT. So when you ask students what they got and they say,"oh I really blew it. I only got an 1880." it's because the test is no longer out of 1600 points, rather, 2400 points.

I have decided that I am going to take the test in the same way- sober and un-sober. And present my findings to the world. I bet I could take the test 14 times and never get above a (non-essay) 1400. I just don't think I'm smart enough. My score from high school, BOTH TIMES, was 1320. I bet I can do better than that now, but not too much better. Though i'm excited to find out.

Thanks, college.

Awesomeness Pending Acceptance

i finally finished my show for Channel 101; the first one I've made in a looooong time. It's been a frustrating hiatus, but I'm glad that I finished something. Another notch in DV bedpost.

I dropped it in the mail and now I get to wait the rest of the week to find out whether or not it will be screened, and to be honest, I'm feeling pessimistic. I'm optimistic about the entire show, but I'm rather guarded when it comes to getting screened at Cinespace. On Saturday, I should get an e-mail of acception or rejection.

Either way, I finally finished it, I'm very happy with it- from the photography to the effects, to the sound and the music(holy shit it's rad). It was a blast to shoot and complete and I'm happy with the results.

Stay tuned peoples!

Where is the Universal Size Committee?

Iâve always wondered who the people were that decided on how sizes worked, because for the life of me- I still donât get it.

Letâs re-cap quickly so you can understand where Iâm coming from:

Small doesnât exist any more.
Pizzas can only be Medium, Large, or Extra Large.
However, when dealing with coffee, Tall = Small.
Some places establish their âmediumâ size as âregular.â
A large box of crackers is Family Size.
A large bag of Doritos is Party Size.
Models wear NEGATIVE size jeans, unless they are fat in which case they wear size 0.

What if a family is having a party? Do you buy the family size or the party size?

Besides this all, coincidentally or not, having to do with our over-excess, carb-counting, consumer-driven culture, what else is wrong here? Personally, I canât get around the fact that âsmallâ doesnât exist. Did 7-11 or Dominoâs pizza decide on that? Why did everyone follow?

Hereâs the thing: You canât have MEDIUM without first establishing what SMALL is. If medium is the smallest you can go isnât THAT small?! Iâm not debating things like Extra Small and Extra Extra Large. I understand that people and things come in all shapes and sizes. But at least there needs to be a tare. A starting point. A balance to the equation.

Letâs look at 7-11. You can get a regular or large fountain soda. Then you can go bigger. Big Gulp, Super Big Gulp, I think thereâs another one that is 64 oz.

And then- the 128oz âTEAMâ Gulp. One gallon of tooth decay sugartown for your little league team or AYSO kids.

When did size become such a distinct and furious marketing tool? Iâll never understand the soul-crushing negative size jeans which is forcing hundreds of girls into sweatshops and hundreds of girls into anorexia. Iâll never understand the extinction of âsmallâ pizzas(not to mention the disappearance of the PâZone). Iâll never really be able to distinguish why Tall is smaller than Grande and vice-versa. Iâll never figure out Family Size, Party Size, and Super Size, let alone, Super Size Super Big Gulp, Super Jumbo Big Gulp and Team Gulp.

What troubles me most about all of this is that I know the evolution will happen again. But will we move up again or change languages like Starbucks? Coffee versus Pizza! The ultimate showdown! What happens when Super Sizing isnât enough, or will the pendulum swing back the other direction and will Medium become the new large giving way to Small and Extra Small as itâs predecessors?

The only thing that really matters is that Team Gulp sounds gross.

Me worry, no bloggy

I've really let this whole "blog" thing slide in the past week and a half, and for that, dear readers, I apologize. I've actually been blogging- nay! administrating a secret blog for the documentary I'm working on. My job is keeping me crazy busy, but since we just entered production, I'll be languishing in the office a lot more sitting in front of Final Cut Pro doing my duties.

On top of the 10 hour days I've been working, I'm trying to finish a short film I shot a few weeks ago, and my deadline is keeping me under the gun. It's coming together pretty darn well, and I'm excited to share the finished product with y'all.

Rest assured, oh those of you who care(Hi Andy!), I am working hard to remedy this lapse of bloggitude. There is also the mention, from some of you, for the epic story of my medical marijuana doctor's journey which I am crafting slowly for a two part blog special coming soon. Indeed, friendly California potheads, you will not be left without any iota of information you will need to obtain your legal right to getting "medicated."

Before I leave you again, however, I will ask for two things:

First and most importantly, to my readers who have not subscribed to this blog- Now's your chance to subscribe for free! It's fun and unobtrusive to your daily life, but provides you with MySpace entertainment on a semi-regular basis.

Secondly- California potheads- if you have significantly interesting and/or scary stories about your "medicine" please message me. If you have ideas for television shows, stories about law enforcement, concerts, behind the scenes gossip, anything- I'm interested to hear about it. Also, if you know anyone that grows their own "medicine" or has an enormous novelty bong, I am interested to hear about this. Sorry out of state stoners, you've got your own problems to deal with, like your stupid governments keeping your lazy, cartoon network-watching asses down, by not legalizing your "medication."

I'll be back more often(he lied), so stay tuned!

Suck it, Geffen

I recently had a nerd high anc decided to order some back issues of Cinefex, the definitive magazine for all things visual effects. One of the ones I got has an article about Frank Oz's 1986 "Little Shop of Horrors" starring Rick Moranis. It's a fantastic movie, one that my girlfriend and I adore with varying degrees of ferocity for different aspects of it's production.

Since the issue came out around the same time as the movie, if not just before, it contained some beautiful images that I had never seen before- beautiful pictures of the oft referenced, never-seen, original ending [SPOILERS] where everyone dies and Audrey II rampages across America and the movie ends with the image of Audrey II strangling the statue of liberty. They really shouldn't be spoilers because this is how the play ends.

In 1998, as DVDs were quickly flooding media culture, they released Little Shop of Horrors with a good chunk of special features, including this rarely seen, unfinished ending as a bonus feature. Within a few weeks, every single DVD was recalled from video stores and the company had to reauthor the DVD without that deleted scene.

Apparently David Geffen was not informed they would be releasing this scene and had wanted to include it on a future release of the DVD. When he found out they had released the thing he raised hell and the DVDs vanished. You can find one selling for upwards of $150 on eBay right now and the Amazon.com listing includes a specific note saying this is NOT the edition with the alternate ending.

The Cinefex article goes into fascinating detail about the ending where they did some pretty awesome effects. They used the same puppets they had, but to make Audrey II look like it was growing just made a bunch of increasing smaller scale miniatures. Things like that. I read the article desperately wanting to see this original ending that I thought was merely myth; to find out that for the modest price tag of one hundred and fifty dollars would enable me to see it wasn't good enough.

So where do I turn? The Angel YouTube. The entire 23 minute original ending sequence, sans sound effects and in black and white is available to registered users in one complete chunk or in three parts for those of us who didn't know you could even register with YouTube.

So fuck off David Geffen- as much as I love this movie and i want it to increase it's commercial revenue so people make movies like this again, that's what you get for being a greedy bastard and not letting people enjoy special features they want.

You got NAPSTERED!