A bit of a change from normal bloggy times, here is a short story I wrote last night.
PS. Why doesn't MySpace let you indent?
Monday in the Park
By Jeff Crocker
I might as well have been staring into the sun, that's how I felt I was spending my time. Instead, I was in the park playing chess with a ninety year old man that was lecturing me about the greatest generation and manners and cell phones and oh-my-god-just-please-make-a-move-so-this-game-will-end-before-you-do.
"You know what I mean, kid?"
I grunted and motioned a hand for him to make his move. Subtlety is a specialty of mine, as is patience, and when I start to run short of both, someone walks around with a shiner and crooked nose the next day no matter what your age.
"It's like people your age, not you of course-"
Of course.
"-just don't even pay attention to what is going on around them."
I am going to try and psychically move his rook now. Rook. Rook. Rook.
"When I was a child, we had plenty to do all day and didn't need video games and cell phones and Tama-gotchees!"
Rookrookrookrookrookrookrookrookrookrookrook.
The man moved his pawn one square forward and the glossy plastic non-denominational foot soldier appeared to politely ask to be taken off the playing field.
I understand your pain, sweet pawn. Unfortunately, like me, you will be made to suffer.
If I hated myself, I would sit here and see how long it took him to notice me not touching a single piece on the board. But I'm a completist- I will end what I begin whether I llike it or not. I'm pretty sure at one time and ex-girlfriend called that my greatest asset (which is why she broke up with me), and it clearly is my greatest weakness as well.
"Oh, is it my move?"
I held up a hand indicating a polite, "please hold," when I really wanted to indicate an impolite, "are you fucking kidding me?"
"It's like all that global warming nonsense they talk about in the papers all the time. I've been alive for ninety three years and the weather feels the same every year. Hot in the summer, cold in the winter, varying degrees of both in between."
Every chess board in the park was being used right now and I wondered if the other seats were smoldering with sulfur like mine was right now. I've been having epiphanies about god for every religion since this game started.
First there was no God. Then no Jesus or Muhammed. In the second hour I gave up on Buddha and the Halle Bop comet, and now I was even considering dropping Joe Smith, but didn't want to be too hasty.
"My brigade in the second great war was the meanest, toughest sons of bitches in the whole damn European theater, from D-Day to Berlin. You're goddamnright we were tough as nails."
Seriously? Am I on a reality show? You know how in high school they name all the seniors 'most likely to' something? I felt like I was just voted most likely to die and be stuck in purgatory on a beautiful day playing chess with someone who will never ever stop talking forever. In reality, next to my sad picture of me in a ill-fitting sports coat, under a list of extracurricular activities and sports I was in, it says, "Most likely to be an expatriate."
I wish I had been in the chess club.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
To Landmark, Or Not to Landmark
They are all over Los Angeles- Historic Landmarks. Some are very well known for their unbelievable architecture, some are well known for their cultural significance, and some are…well…just there.
LA's finest example of a Historic Landmark, being that it is a National Historic Landmark (instead of just a municipal one), is the legendary Bradbury building in Downtown. You might remember it from it's prominent role in "Blade Runner" or "Double Indemnity." It's an amazing piece of work and I don't think anyone disputes the Bradbury's Historic Landmark status.
One of my favorite hangouts in LA, which also happens to be downtown and a Historic Landmark, is the Hotel Figueroa. Filled with Moroccan décor and home of the delightful Veranda Bar, it's a wonderful place to get a drink and relax in the heart of ye olde smoggy city.
Many many more famous buildings have been granted Landmark status: The Hollywood Bowl, Heritage Square, Angeles Heights district, The Palace Theater(now called The Avalon, I think…), The Los Angeles Zoo, Wayfarer's Chapel (crazy, all glass chapel over looking the ocean), and Yamashiro Restaurant- to name just a few.
One of the reasons why the Conservancy exists is to preserve the structure of these important landmarks. Which…is where we start to get into trouble.
Very often, landmark status can hinder the ability to improve a structure or alter it in some way. Which is why we often see businesses mismatched with their respective housings.
Shortly after The Big Lebowski was released and became a cult sensation, Holly Star Lanes, the bowling alley where all the movie was shot, was torn down. But not after a significantly long fight to try and get it landmark status thus making it impossible to tear the structure down. But flatten it they did- and now there is a new elementary school where it once stood. Famous bowling alley? Or new elementary school. I know- tough choice.
Today I ran across an article about the Bob's Big Boy on Wilshire, across from The awesomely art deco Hollywood Reporter building is being closed and the staff is being evicted by July 1st. This is the Bob's where David Lynch would go every single day and have like, a hundred cups of coffee, while he was brainstorming Twin Peaks and Blue Velvet. Point for Bob's to stay, I guess. Also, they want to tear it down and build A BMW dealership and showroom. Another point for Bob's right?
Here's an argument against Bob's Big Boy being granted Historic Landmark status: It's a FUCKING Bob's Big Boy. It's a diner with mediocre diner food, built in 1972- not Frank Lloyd Wright's fucking Ennis House.
I don't think Mid-Wilshire needs another stupid luxury car dealership, but I'm pretty sure we don't need to save the Bob's Big Boy structure.
Being able to save buildings in our cities is awesome and important, and I sympathize with the many lost structures that I'm sure we wish we could have saved. But change is just as an important part of our culture and society, as the preservation of unique and important architecture.
(Also, just noticed this- apparently all my snobby knowledge of Los Angeles Architecture comes from Blade Runner.)
LA's finest example of a Historic Landmark, being that it is a National Historic Landmark (instead of just a municipal one), is the legendary Bradbury building in Downtown. You might remember it from it's prominent role in "Blade Runner" or "Double Indemnity." It's an amazing piece of work and I don't think anyone disputes the Bradbury's Historic Landmark status.
One of my favorite hangouts in LA, which also happens to be downtown and a Historic Landmark, is the Hotel Figueroa. Filled with Moroccan décor and home of the delightful Veranda Bar, it's a wonderful place to get a drink and relax in the heart of ye olde smoggy city.
Many many more famous buildings have been granted Landmark status: The Hollywood Bowl, Heritage Square, Angeles Heights district, The Palace Theater(now called The Avalon, I think…), The Los Angeles Zoo, Wayfarer's Chapel (crazy, all glass chapel over looking the ocean), and Yamashiro Restaurant- to name just a few.
One of the reasons why the Conservancy exists is to preserve the structure of these important landmarks. Which…is where we start to get into trouble.
Very often, landmark status can hinder the ability to improve a structure or alter it in some way. Which is why we often see businesses mismatched with their respective housings.
Shortly after The Big Lebowski was released and became a cult sensation, Holly Star Lanes, the bowling alley where all the movie was shot, was torn down. But not after a significantly long fight to try and get it landmark status thus making it impossible to tear the structure down. But flatten it they did- and now there is a new elementary school where it once stood. Famous bowling alley? Or new elementary school. I know- tough choice.
Today I ran across an article about the Bob's Big Boy on Wilshire, across from The awesomely art deco Hollywood Reporter building is being closed and the staff is being evicted by July 1st. This is the Bob's where David Lynch would go every single day and have like, a hundred cups of coffee, while he was brainstorming Twin Peaks and Blue Velvet. Point for Bob's to stay, I guess. Also, they want to tear it down and build A BMW dealership and showroom. Another point for Bob's right?
Here's an argument against Bob's Big Boy being granted Historic Landmark status: It's a FUCKING Bob's Big Boy. It's a diner with mediocre diner food, built in 1972- not Frank Lloyd Wright's fucking Ennis House.
I don't think Mid-Wilshire needs another stupid luxury car dealership, but I'm pretty sure we don't need to save the Bob's Big Boy structure.
Being able to save buildings in our cities is awesome and important, and I sympathize with the many lost structures that I'm sure we wish we could have saved. But change is just as an important part of our culture and society, as the preservation of unique and important architecture.
(Also, just noticed this- apparently all my snobby knowledge of Los Angeles Architecture comes from Blade Runner.)
Friday, May 2, 2008
This Works For Me (music!)
The internet is a vast and fascinating tool used to illegally download music to your hearts content until the Earth is overrun by zombies and Skynet destroys the zombie race.
That being said, it still cannot help you find a song in a different language, especially if the one lyric you think you know, is completely wrong.
And THAT being said, that doesn't mean I haven't been up for three hours whittling away at Google in every possible manner until I found the song I was looking for, thankfully, from another curious searcher with as little information as I had.
But found it I did.
Click here to get Free Ca Plane Pour Moi MP3 at EZ-Tracks.com
Ca Plane Pour Moi - Plastic Bertrand - 1977
First of all, sorry for the auto-play; I hate that, but I love that I can embed this song.
This version is awesome, though the one I downloaded off iTunes is slightly different.
It's in a hundred movies and commercials, which you would think would help me find it as it's ubiquity(word?) in film and TV, but you'd be wrong.
The song has the same instrumental track as Jet Boy, Jet Girl by Elton Motello; because a bunch of the band members are the same.
And here is a crazy YouTube video of Plastic Bertrand performing their hit single.
I'm going to sleep now. Satisfied.
And the winner of the internet. Thanks for playing!
That being said, it still cannot help you find a song in a different language, especially if the one lyric you think you know, is completely wrong.
And THAT being said, that doesn't mean I haven't been up for three hours whittling away at Google in every possible manner until I found the song I was looking for, thankfully, from another curious searcher with as little information as I had.
But found it I did.
Click here to get Free Ca Plane Pour Moi MP3 at EZ-Tracks.com
Ca Plane Pour Moi - Plastic Bertrand - 1977
First of all, sorry for the auto-play; I hate that, but I love that I can embed this song.
This version is awesome, though the one I downloaded off iTunes is slightly different.
It's in a hundred movies and commercials, which you would think would help me find it as it's ubiquity(word?) in film and TV, but you'd be wrong.
The song has the same instrumental track as Jet Boy, Jet Girl by Elton Motello; because a bunch of the band members are the same.
And here is a crazy YouTube video of Plastic Bertrand performing their hit single.
I'm going to sleep now. Satisfied.
And the winner of the internet. Thanks for playing!
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