Nixon Overload: A Day Trip to Yorba Linda

My dad and I went to see an exhibit on model trains- at the Nixon library, birthplace, museum, and resting place, obviously.

It was pretty cool. I expected a large room with a bunch of different layouts (model train terminology for a piece of painted plywood you put model trains on), where you could walk amidst them all and enjoy the intricacies of plastic buildings and whizzy model trains. In actuality, it was a giant mountain of Styrofoam and plaster and CVS holiday buildings with like 24 model trains all ripping around on loops and ovals of all gauges(model train sizes).

The walls were filled with shelves and shelves of antique/vintage model trains from almost a hundred years ago. My dad and I felt the same way, we probably couldn't appreciate the value of some of these awesome old mechanical goodies.

Here are a few pictures from the exhibit:

Panorama of the south side of the "glacier" (as they referred to it)

There are four trains zipping around this mini Grand Canyon.

Girl Train!

A little gruesome...who thought this scene under the Golden Gate was a good idea?

Wall of Trains!

MORE PICTURES ON MY FLICKR SITE: www.flickr.com/photos/crockeronline There's a ton up there from all sorts of stuff, feel free to browse.

We figured, "Well, we're at the Nixon library, when are we going to come here again? Lets walk around."

Wow. I don't think I ever need to see another button or pin or newspaper article about Ricahrd fucking Nixon ever, EVER again. I thought it was going to be a small, walk around a couple small rooms of stuff, but it was a twisting, crippling, labyrinth of Richard Milhous Nixon. That guy did a ton of amazing stuff, all the while being kind of America's greatest skeez. And he's from Yorba Linda.

And his official Presidential helicopter, I'm not making this up, seats 16 people, has 32 ashtrays, two wetbars, one red phone, and NO SEATBELTS.

If you live in southern California, and are in junior high and have to do a report on Richard Nixon, this is the place to go. Or if you need Presidential tchotchkes, the gift shop is the place to go.

They also do weddings.

Happy New Year everybody!

Super High Me - Doug Benson’s pot documentary trailer online

What feels like fifteen years ago, we made this documentary with Doug Benson (Best Week Ever) about pot. The trailer I made popped up online this morning and I thought I would pass it along to you fine people.

Super High Me trailer - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7vMqowaPig

Feel free to forward it out to all your pro- or anti- marijuana friends, because everyone should see the movie as it follows a fascinating experiement with the devil's weed.

For all those Digg-ers out there, Digg it up!

Digg it up, Delicious it, or whatever it is you kids do with your Helios these days.

Spread the word!

Brief Links or Lief Brinks

Hello-

A few of you may have seen a bulletin I posted a few weeks ago asking for a new news site to get my headlines from because I just couldn't take the horrible, fear-mongering, retarded news that CNN.com pushed on the world. It's the WORST.

Thank you to all that responded and alert reader, professional TV-watcher, Daniel Ricker wised me up to Huffington Post, which I have adopted immediately and effortlessly and am enjoying immensely. They've got a great format, great political coverage, and some pretty awesome commentary blogs (Alec Baldwin is a regular contributor).

And then, as icing on the cake, I recently found a list of great blogs from this year and found this amazing link: WTFCNN. Loyal readers to my blog know that I've posted screenshots of CNN headlines before because THEY ARE RETARDED. And now there is an entire blog devoted to saving the amazing, unfathomably stupid headlines that are posted by CNN.com. WTFCNN is brilliant.

Hope everyone is having a delightful holiday season!

UPDATED: How many 5 year olds could you take in a fight?

25

I normally don't post stuff like this, but I was laughing through this entire quiz. Plus, the design of it all is pretty spiffy and it's short. Go take the quiz.

I've always loved when ideas that have no scientific value are approached in with a scientific eye. The rules they give in determining the "constant" of the five year olds and they playing field is hilarious.

This is actually the premise for the book "Freakonomics;" using statistical analysis in ways that it's never been used, for jobs, items, or ideas that don't warrant it, but in applying these two uncomplimentary forces we seem to be finding out that they DO work well with each other. There's a whole section of the book that deals with what real estate agents have to do with the KKK. It's a very interesting read.

Althought I have to wonder- what has happened to me at that "25 five-year-olds" mark? Have I been knocked unconscious? killed? was I too exhausted to continue? Did I suddenly have a change of heart in beating up these kids? Or was it just such a steady stream of kids that they eventually buried me alive.

I wonder.

EDIT: WHAT THE HELL! I am so sorry. I had no idea you were going to get spammed. I took the quiz twice (the second time to see how many 5 year olds a 7 foot body builder with years of martial arts experience could take) and never got spammed. Ugh. I'm a dick.

Try this link

That's the original link that I followed to take the quiz. If you get singles-spammed at the end of that, they must have changed all their bullshit to spam people, in which case, you are all five year olds and I WIN!

It’s not the gifts I want, it’s the guides

I really like the holiday season, but it's not because of the shopping, the gifts, the family, the celebration, walking through Naples, or the latkes and gingerbread cookies (although…); no, what I really get excited about is all the Holiday Gift Guides that people create detailing awesome gifts, whether or not I can ever afford them or need them. I just want to know about all the delightful techy gadgets and video games that I don't need; I want to hear about the amazing DVD boxed sets I won't watch; and of course, the insane, extravagant collectibles that I will laugh at in someone else's home.

There's something comforting about crawling under the blankets with a warm cup of cocoa and reading someone else's carefully crafted gift list. So without further ado, I present Jeff Crocker's Holiday Guide to Holiday Gift Guides:

Wired magazine
http://www.wired.com/
Remember that time that I started a story with "Remember that time my dad gave me a FIREHOSE for Hanukkah?" I'm hoping next year will be the year we hear that story. Wired magazine has some great tech-gadget guides in every issue, but their latest is the greatest. A $600 carbon fiber, firehose? That atomizes water into 300-micron mists to cool your damp Malibu lawn as the firestorm approaches (after a quick stop at Promises rehab facility). Cameras, watches, motorized walking Lego Star Wars AT-ATs- their guide is standard, but totally fun.

Aintitcool's Quint's Epic 3-Part Geek Gift Adventure
http://aintitcool.com/node/34877
I could take or leave Harry Knowles, awkward-eroitca movie reviews and news, but every holiday season since they told me I could buy a desk EXACTLY like Space Ghost's for $10,000 I have returned every year giddy with excitement as to what bizarre nerd-obilia would be presented. This year is just as good with some ridiculous overwrought DVD collections; too expensive action figures, and Stephen Fry talking clocks (the website doesn't work very well, but it's worth it to hear the examples). Nerds go here at your own risk, whether or not you even care about action figures, you'll want to spend $60 on the kickass The Dude and Watler (with Pomeranian) actions figures.

Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com
I like Amazon, because I don't have to go shopping with people and I can go exactly to the aisle I'm looking for; not to mention I still feel like I'm at a store with other products because of all the recommendations crammed on every page.

MAKE
http://www.makezine.com
Smart publications have gift guides in every issue and MAKE is smart. It's also a quad-yearly little slice of heaven that I enjoy devouring when it arrives. (Also, my girlfriend's brother is in this issue with a tree branch impaling his leg.) Why/How their gift guide rocks- it includes kits for hydrogen fuel cell car, DIY green surfboard, and a gyroplane flying motorcycle kit. Not to mention if you have a earth-caring, electronics-savvy friend, this issue and the next explain how to make solar panels and wire them into your house's power supply/grid/thing. Cool!

Core 77 – 77 gifts under $77
http://www.core77.com/ultimategiftguide/
Wow. What an awesome list of totally radical gifts. I can't…I can't….I just can't explain how awesome this list is- I want everything. I covet, do you hear me? I covet socket wrench flatware. I demand fold-up cardboard wineracks. I…I…[passes out]

Apple Store
http://store.apple.com/1-800-MY-APPLE/WebObjects/AppleStore?node=campaigns/holiday
Is this an obvious choice? Maybe, but that doesn't make it not a great gift guide. They follow the best rule of gift guides- accessories. For every Apple product they advertise, there is a grip of sweet third party accessories you will want.

Dwell
http://www.dwell.com/products/slideshows/giftguide/10927981.htmlid=a_5&num=4
Browsing through the men's stuff it all looks, well, kind of lame and Sharper Image-y, but that stuff for Teenage Boys is RAD! A USB turntable? Portable, foldout speakers? Cool! THAT FUCKING BEARD CAP THING! I don't know if I care about anything else on that list which means that I am perennially a teenage boy. (Full disclosure: I do want one of those Diana cameras that they have started manufacturing again, but I was afraid to say anything because it's in the teen girl section)

Engadget
http://www.engadget.com/2007/11/24/engadgets-holiday-gift-guide-2007/
Obviously, this post is written by a boy, so you'll have to deal with all sorts of boy things. Scroll down the writing to the "related posts" menu to click on the individual guides. There's some pretty amazing gadgets that I had no idea existed- a YouTube enabled camera; a Wifi-roving erector set robot with webcam; and someone please help me figure this one out- the GP2X F200 is a handheld videogame device that if I'm correct, can play SNES, SEGA Genesis, and NES ROMs as an emulator? I think you have to be a pretty tech savvy nerd to hack everything, but it sounds like some sort of open source handheld device. And if I can play River City Ransom and Metal Warriors on it, I'm in.

So…that's it. I think I especially love gift guides because I never actually buy any of these things they offer. Ever. It's just a flood of dopamine to my brain to help me cope with the holiday season. Happy Hanukkah everybody!