I recently had the opportunity to sit down with America's hottest actor and TeenVogue's 68th sexiest man alive, my silver screen hero, and the genius behind the character "Shaggy" from Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed- Matthew Lillard.
Acting in over 40 movies in his short life, Matthew Lillard, however, has since become a reclusive character, spending his days on his ranch in Riverside, where he breeds horses for fighting and for glue manufacturing. As I approached his rather large barn made entirely out of human skulls, a ringing gun-shot caught my attention and there I saw the man who took Thir13en Ghosts to the next level, who made America laugh in the Seth Green comedy Without a Paddle, and of course, that dastardly Stuart, from Wes Craven's Scream.
Lillard has kept himself well-groomed despite the lack of proper bathing facilities in his altar-barn, the upkeep of his boyish good looks has blossomed underneath the long, pointed beard and black eyeliner.
MySpace: Good morning, Mr. Lillard I'm-
Matt Lillard: You are the emissary they sent to procure my services, are you not?
MS: I suppose, I'm not sure what my editor worked out with you.
ML: Forsooth, I am but a humble passenger on our dark lord's tumbling chaotic world.
MS: What a great quote! Is that Shakespeare?
ML: Foolish flesh-mortal, you know not what you speak of!
MS: Ha ha! I know I know- YOU'RE the trained actor, I'm the a-hole with the tape-recorder. Say, is there someplace comfortable we could sit down and chat?
ML: You may kneel before my throne of despair.
MS: Sounds good to me.
We walk inside the dark, imposing barnhouse. It's lit only by black candles fixed atop hands reaching from the black dirt below our feet. A fountain of blood bumbled happily in the center of the room, a nice addition to this seemingly disparaging abode.
After we sat down, we exchanged further pleasantries, and Matthew really began to open up to me.
ML: You see, as an artist of the demon god Cthulu and his lord before him, I feel like I never truly get to explain my purpose on this disgusting plane. The charity work that others do are all in vain for this world shall meet it's end very soon.
MS: Do you have a release date yet?
ML: If memory serves, it is written in the book of Sa-
MS: You know, it's cool, I'm sorry, I'll have my research intern look it up in Variety. I did want to ask you about your involvment with horror movies and just assorted bizarro and intense images in general. Has this been a dream of yours since growing up in Orange County, or did you become interested in genre films in college?
ML: My education began in my mother's festering womb, where I gave a blood oath to the lord of darkness and damned myself to hell eternally.
MS: How sweet! And how exactly did your mother influence your "craft" when you were born?
ML: My mother will be damned to the same fate as me, for she tried to exorcise me once the omen of the damned presented itself upon my forehead.
MS: Well, she took quite a risk showing you such scary movies as "The Exorcist" and "The Omen" at such a young age. It paid off indeed, as you are a part of some of the most edgy, ground-breaking cinema America has seen since the days of "Roots." Do you think that you are getting better as you move on, or do you feel that your sexy, adventurous days are over?
ML: All our days are numbered and only the prince of darkness shall cure the disease of your flesh.
MS: I supposed that's true in philospohical terms, but what I really want to know is, since moving away from Hollywood and re-inventing yourself as a dramatic actor, rather than the man who makes Scooby Doo laugh, do you think that an Oscar is in your future?
ML: You know, I think the Academy is going to be the first entity to perish when the waves of fire engulf our existence- seriously, why hasn't Jim Carrey won yet?
MS: A question we all must ask ourselves from time to time indeed. Thank you for spending some time with us on MySpace. I think I speak for all of us out there when I say we can't wait for your inevitable return to the red carpet and subsequently, the silver screen.
ML: Aye, for I will carpet the world with the red blood of virgins and the destroy your god with my silver sword of pain!
Leaving Matthew Lillard estate I am definitely a changed man- his staggering genius knows no bounds, it feels no constraints and he will obviously continue to give Oscar a run for his money, come next February.
Interview by Jeff Crocker
Logged and blogged: 6/6/06
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